Advent Musing, Part 2

Today's Reading: Matthew 1:18-25

I love how Scripture is weaved together so picture perfectly. Yesterday's verses focused on Mary, today's focus on Joseph. I have to confess that in years past, I've been guilty of paying little attention to Joseph's role in the story. As a woman, I am more drawn to Mary every time I read the nativity story, I am quick to put myself in her shoes and try to understand the events from her perspective. This year for the first time (perhaps because I have a righteous, devoted man in my own life now), I emphasize with Joseph. I admire him.

Here was a man who chose God's will over his own reputation .. a man who was willing to put his plans and dreams and expectations on the back burner and obey the Lord. I often think of how Mary was likely scorned and rejected by the people in her village but never paused to think that Joseph, too, would have suffered. At any point, Joseph could have chosen to run. He could have chosen revenge. He didn't. Instead, he chose to sacrifice his own well-being and humble himself. Incredible.

Advent Musings, Part 1

With less than 20 days to go before we celebrate the birth of our Savior, I've decided to take a break from my study of 2 Corinthians (which is what I've been reading during my quiet time lately) and instead do daily Bible readings that focus on the anticipation, preparation and birth of Jesus. I've also decided to post my thoughts & reflections here on the blog ... many of my fellow blogging friends are doing this, and I'm learning so much from their insights. I'm not sure that I'll be able to add anything worthwhile to the advent conversation, but I'll share my thoughts anyway.

Today's Reading: Luke 1:26-56

The more I think about Mary, the more I realize that I only grasp a glimmer of what she had to go through. I can only begin to imagine what she must have felt when the angel appeared to her and told her that she was pregnant with the long-awaited Messiah. Scripture captures her initial shock and disbelief ("how can this be?") and her willingness to be obedient ("I am the Lord's servant") ... a few verses later we read her words of praise as she exalts God and what He is doing through her ... but there's no mention of the other thoughts and emotions I'm sure she had to process along the way.

I'm sure she wondered how Joseph would take the news, what he would say. I'm sure she was worried he would break off their engagement or, worse still, have her stoned to death for adultery. I'm sure her thoughts frequently drifted to the townsfolk in her village and what kind of gossip people would spread about her and her family. I'm sure there were many rumors, and I'm sure each one broke her heart. I'm sure she struggled on a roller-coaster of pride and self-doubt ... one moment feeling holier and more important than everyone else; the next wondering why in the world God chose her to carry His Son. I'm sure she mourned the loss of her childhood innocence and the fact that life as she knew it would never be the same. I'm sure she waited in eager expectation, anxiously awaiting not only the birth of her son but also the salvation of the world. I'm sure she wept often, and I'm sure there were frequent moments of rejoicing. I'm sure of all these things .. but I acknowledge that these certainties (and others) only scratch the surface of Mary's unique part in the greatest story ever told.

I pray to be more like Mary. Obedient and faithful, and eager to welcome Jesus with open arms.

wrapped in His banner

Today as I was walking to work, I found myself thinking of a Scripture verse I haven't thought of in years - Song of Solomon, 2:4 .. "He has taken me to the banquet table, and His banner over me is love."

That verse is the basis of a popular Sunday School song that my mom used to sing to me when I was a little girl - long before I was a Christian, long before I knew Jesus the way I know him now. I even remember the hand gestures that go along with the song; you have to wave your arms back and forth in the air over your head as you sing. I always tell people that the first verse of Scripture I ever memorized was 2 Corinthians 12:9, but now that I think of it I believe this verse from Song of Solomon was really the first. I didn't know it was Scripture at the time, but I memorized it and had it etched onto my heart many, many, many years ago when I was just a kid swaying back and forth with her arms above her head.

And today, out of the blue, it came back to me. Out of nowhere, I thought to myself "His banner over me is love." Before I was even born, God had me wrapped in His banner of love and grace and forgiveness and mercy. What an amazing thought. Sometimes the simplest truths are the most profound.

let a righteous man strike me

I am a firm believer in God as Heavenly Father - I believe He is just as much "Daddy" to us as He is Savior and King and Creator. And, just as parents discipline their children, I know Heavenly Father disciplines us, too. "So then know in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you". - Deuteronomy 8:5

I don't mean that He punishes us. Though some Christians will disagree with my position on this, I don't believe that diseases, natural disasters, personal tragedies, etc are inflicted on human beings as some kind of holy punishment for sins. When Jesus said "it is finished" on the cross, I take him at his word. I don't believe God punishes his children but I also don't believe He has any trouble letting us know when He's not pleased and pointing out areas in our lives where we could use some serious improvement.

For me, this Godly discipline tends to happen in the form of a rebuke - when someone who knows me well speaks truth into my life and tells it to me "like it is". Someone I love and respect will point out an area in my life or an aspect of my character that just isn't Christ-like and, deep down, I know God is speaking through them. This happened just the other day. In an email to me, a friend pointed out that something I claimed to be doing "the Christian way" was really no different than the secular way. She didn't use those exact words and she was really gentle, but that was essentially the bottom line. She saw me acting in a way that wasn't right, and she called me out on it.

My first reaction was to try and justify the situation to myself. You know, the kind of self-lecture that begins with the infamous "yeah, BUT ...." As I went through my mental check-list of excuses, though, I knew she was right. Just because you stick the Christian label on something, doesn't make it so. My motives and my actions in this particular circumstance had been motivated by impatience, selfishness, distrust and lust - not exactly the type of behavior a woman of faith should strive for.

Even though it wasn't fun to read her comments the choices I'd been making recently, I know she spoke from a place of love and concern and I know the message she gave me was prompted by the Holy Spirit. I'm so blessed to have people around me who can be honest with me and who challenge me to better. And I'm blessed to have a Heavenly Father who loves me too much to let things slide without discipline. And I'm blessed he wraps that discipline up in friendship.

"Let a righteous man strike me - it is a kindness. Let him rebuke me - it is oil on my head." - Psalm 141:5

A Time To Leave?

I'm currently reading through the Book of Acts. I decided to spend my summer reading through Acts in preparation for September, when I officially enter the "mission field" myself. There is *so* much amazing, inspirational history packed into the 28 chapters that make up Acts, and so many great lessons to learn from the early church founders. It seems I keep highlighting and underlining just about everything.

One of the things that really stood out to me was this -

At the end of Chapter 13, Paul and Barnabas are boldly preaching the Gospel, telling the crowds surrounding them that, without Jesus as Savior, nobody is worthy of eternal life. The crowds go nuts, and start trying to force Paul and Barnabas to leave their community. The writer tell us that "In protest of these people, Paul and Barnabas shook the dust off their feet and went to the city of Iconium". (Acts 13:51)

That verse didn't stand out to me until I got to the next chapter and read about Paul preaching in the city of Lystra. The crowds were so angry and offended by Paul's teaching, they tried to stone him. They threw rocks at him until they thought he was dead, and the disciples had to carry his limp body out of the city. Pretty awful, right? Definitely time to shake the dust off his feet and move on to another city, as he did in chapter 13 ... right? Wrong.

"When the disciples gathered around him, he got up and went back into the city." (Acts 14:20)

COME AGAIN ?!?

Same man. Same mission. Similar situations. Totally different decisions. Two seemingly opposite courses of action. In one city, people persecute him and he gets up and leaves. In another city, not too far away, people persecute him and he refuses to give up on them, returning to the city to preach even after the people there try to kill him.

I've been thinking a lot about those two verses, trying to figure out what was going through Paul's mind. Was he just playing favorites, or is there a greater, deeper message to be unearthed here? Personally, I'm leaning toward the latter. In Ecclesiastes, God tell us that "there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven ... a time to plant and a time to uproot ... a time to tear down and a time to build ... a time to embrace and a time to refrain ... a time to be silent and a time to speak ..." etc etc.

I believe that as followers of Christ, we are called to tell people about Jesus all the time. There is never an appropriate time to deny Christ or to water down our convictions to make people less offended ... but I'm learning that maybe, every now and then, there are situations where God does call us to retreat. I think there are situations where God tells us "OK. You've done your part here. You've said what I want you to say and anything else you say to this person will just go in one ear and out the other. So now take a step back and let someone else come in and pick up where you left off."

There is a time to preach the Gospel passionately and without ceasing ... and there is a time to preach through our actions and behaviors; quietly, patiently pray for a person from a distance.

These two stories in Acts showed me that I am not the one who gets to decide when it's time to quit and when it's time to keep fighting. It may seem acceptable to assume that if your life is danger, it's time to pull out ... but the story of Paul being stoned and yet still dragging himself back into the city proves that danger and persecution isn't always a valid reason for walking away from an opportunity to be a witness of God's grace. As a mere human being, I don't get to make that call. I just have to pray over every situation and ask God to reveal His will to me, and provide me with the wisdom I need to make the right decision.

Father God, help me know when You want me to shake the dust off my feet and move forward and when You want me to keep running back. Help me know when to speak and when to be silent, when to plant and when to uproot, when to embrace and when to refrain. Help me love people unconditionally, in whatever ways You ask me to. In Jesus' name.